Her 1st Christmas

Well, she had NO clue it was Christmas but she still enjoyed it! :-) She was a good girl all 12 weeks of her life so far so Santa came to see her! HA!

Doug and I were both off work from Dec. 24th through January 4th and we LOVED IT! We spent every day with her, just soaking her up! I can't tell you how much I love her! She is so precious and SUCH a good baby!

Christmas Eve we went to the Harmons' for our traditional dinner/opening gifts night - it was great! Macy Kate was so good even though she was passed around a lot. Christmas Day we had our morning with her and then went for breakfast at Doug's uncle's house and then lunch at my sister's house and we just chilled out at home that night. Here are some pics and a video of Christmas morning.

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Flowers from home

Doug & Macy Kate sent me flowers on my first day back at work - it totally made my day!! They were Christmas theme and very pretty and it was just so sweet! Here's a picture of them!

Who couldn't love this face?!?!!

Day 3 at work and it's slow here so I find myself missing Macy Kate even more. Just in time...Tammy comes to the rescue with pictures!

Isn't it funny how your child looks so different when someone else is taking a picture of them? Seems as though she has changed since I dropped her off this morning! I know she hasn't, but it seems that way.

She apparently is perfectly fine without me :-) Which is a good thing! She is a very happy baby and her skin is finally clearing up so I plan to take some cute naked shots of her this weekend.

When I look at her I still see Doug mainly but other say they see me so who knows. All I know is....I see love! :-)

Back to work........

Well, these last 10 weeks have FLOWN by! They have been both joyous and heart breaking all at once. It's strange how much you can change in 10 weeks - I feel like I head back to work a completely different person than when I left. I am now a Mommy and someone who has lost her Dad - both huge events in a short amount of time.
Yesterday was my first day back and I felt like a fish out of water - everything felt so foreign and like I was just visiting for the day! HA! Well, today is day two and it's becoming real that life at work, away from my baby, will be hard. I cried this morning when dropping her off at my sister's house - last night came and went so fast as far as our time with her. I sit and wait all day to see and hold her and then it goes so fast and it's the next day before we know it and we are dropping her off again and away from her once again. Ahhh....to have the weekends! :-)
I know it will get easier with time but for now it's very odd to be here. Everyone is great here though, but I still miss her.
These are from today - her Aunt Tammy took them and made my day by sending them to me at work!

SO smiley!!!!

Here's a few shots of her smiling lately - she will actually laugh....it's adorable! Here's a video of her smiling too!

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She's finally...Sleeping like a baby!

She had her first night in her own bed, in her own room last Saturday. She slept....like a baby! We were SO proud of her! We grabbed the video camera on the way up to get her to document this big day! Enjoy!

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Two....NOT for the price of one!

Well, my twin nephews are here and adorable! My poor sister...she discovered that you do not get two for the price of one! She has to pay two co-pays everytime they go to the doctor...who knew!! Two of this, two of that, etc - these boys are costly - good thing they are SO cute! I love you Luke & Levi!

I miss you Dad....

For those of you who have not heard, my Dad died suddenly on Nov. 12th and it's still hard to believe we will not see him again in this life. Macy Kate was lucky to meet him but she will never truly KNOW him and that breaks my heart.

It's been a month and I look around and see people going on with their lives and it feels so wrong - a piece of ours is missing and it will never be the same, how can we just move on. I know this is part of grieving but it just seems like life is moving in slow motion now.

Please continue to pray for our family as we heal from this huge event and we look to God to fill that void.

Her 1st bath

She did so good! She loved the warm water!

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She's here!

She has arrived! Here are a few photos and a video - she is two weeks old now and I am sorry I am just now updating this - life as we knew it has totally changed as all of you know, so it's been hectic!

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She has arrived!

She decided to come on her own - no induction necessary :-)

My water broke at 9:30pm, Monday, Oct. 6th and we headed to the hospital...slowly but surely. They checked me and said "Yep, you're a keeper!" and we headed to our room where I would labor for the next 13 hours or so. I got my epidural (after begging!) at 7:30am and she made her way into this world at 12:45pm sharp. 7lb 2oz and 19 1/4 inches long - and absolutely perfect! Here's a few shots from those first moments.

Due date is here...but where is Macy Kate

She's snug in my tummy still! :-)
Apparently she will be stubborn, like her Mommy, and may just be forced out of her old home soon. We will go in Tuesday night at 7pm to start induction if she doesn't change her mind before then and come on.
The thought of going in and everything being controlled tomorrow night is a nice thought but then again having some fun going into labor story would be fun too - I'm torn! Come tomorrow night at 7 I will have no choice :-)
Doug and I are both so excited and just can not believe it will be within days, no matter what. FINALLY! Nana Pat is here and everyone one and everything is in place....we just want to meet her!
I had a few contractions at church yesterday and through the day but nothing consistent, so who knows.
Any last minute advice we need????

She is comfy in there....no sign of emerging!

Well here we go....the start of my 40th week is here. So many feelings - anxious, nervous, excited, impatient......I think the "unknown" is the most annoying part but yet somewhat fun too - strange, I know :-)

I had to get a haircut yesterday, just too much to deal with. Hoping to make it to Friday for a mani/pedi and then Nana Pat will be here and we're all set come Saturday evening - AFTER the Notre Dame/Stanford game of course :-)



Macy Kate has been super active the last few days so who knows what she is thinking. Doug and I just can't wait to SEE her in person and take it all in. To think it's within a week or so is amazing! I go to the doctor tomorrow at 2 and hopefully will be dilated past 1, which I was last week. They will schedule an induction for the following week, just in case!

So.....Wish us luck.....We are on high alert and VERY ready!

2am....Awake and Emotional....

I wake up a lot lately at night, and am sometimes just wide awake from 2 to 4am. JOY! Last night I woke up and got to thinking about things and started crying randomly - I am SO emotional lately :-)

I was thinking about Macy Kate coming so soon and about how I went to have lunch with Allie at Kindergarten yesterday and how excited she was to see me. I felt so special! Then I thought about how one day that will be my daughter and then I thought about how when Allie happily waived bye to me and hugged me and said "I wish you could come to dinner at my house tonight!" that this was probably the last time I will see her before the baby comes. That in itself was sad for me - I don't see her often now that she has school and I miss her. Then I got to thinking that once Macy Kate comes, I know I will still love Allie to death (Maddy too) but I have never loved a child as much as I feel like I could love my own, other than Allie, and now that place in my heart will be taken up by Macy Kate because she will be my own daughter. Which is fine and I am thrilled about loving her and having a child but it's sort of sad to have that part of my life (with Allie) change that way. I got to thinking about how I hope she remembers our special bond later in life and not just remember Nonny was in her life and now I have babies of my own, etc. Does that make sense? I want her to remember those special years where I soaked up every piece of her and she and I had this great bond - BEFORE children of my own. I want her to know that I am dying to be a Mommy because of her - because she showed me this huge love that comes from taking care of a child. SHE is the reason I am so excited about having a daughter and I think of Allie every time I walk into Macy Kate's room (mainly because it is Allie's stuff! HA! But I also just think about when she was a baby). I know she will be grown one day and will know I had a part in her early years but I don't know if she will ever truly know how much I love her and how much of an impact she had on my life of wanting to be a Mommy.

I think I will write Allie a letter soon explaining how special she is to me and when she gets older she can read it and know what a special time in my life that was for me. I want her and Maddy to know they will always be a part of my life! Then I got to thinking about how time flies by so fast and how Allie has grown up so fast and I know I will feel that way about my children and miss them being babies, etc. - I know....WAY beyond what I need to be focusing on right now but I found myself lying there at 2am crying and missing Allie and missing this baby inside of me that I have yet to meet:-) I drifted off to sleep about 3:30 wondering....Am I normal?

19 Days left and we had to do a trial run!

Went to the hospital yesterday for what I guess was a trial run! HA! I had contractions all day - just very mild ones - but did not feel her move for many hours and that is what concerned them. So I went up there and they monitored her and of course she started moving once I got there :-) So we went on home and I had a dr. appt today - they did check me but nothing is going on "down there" :-) So, for now, my bun is still baking!

Mommy & Daddy Having Fun Before Your Arrival

Doug and I had fun taking these - I took them on a timer and it was pretty funny! We took them up in her room - he wanted a few with the pink football which I thought was a cute idea! I felt SO huge (and was so upset my wedding ring doesn't fit for these photos!) but he was so sweet and kept complimenting me the whole time - he is so excited and ready for this baby girl to arrive and turn his life upside down - me too! 3 weeks from today is the due date....

The writing on the wall....

Tammy and I painted these letters for Macy Kate's room - one last thing to hang! Once we get her Little Miss Muffet canvas all the walls will be complete!

Swing Low....Sweet Macy Kate....

I think she has dropped! I can finally sit up and breathe and I just feel her lower. This is neat and scary - this means she's getting "into position"! When Doug or I press on her now, she presses back - HA! I think she is syaing "Hey you two...I don't have much space in here that's mine, so back off!" :-)

HUSH while you can!

Alisha and I were in Publix this weekend (getting ice cream and apple pie but that is besides the point!) and some bagger dude asked me if I was having twins. I nicely said "Nope, just one", so then he said "Oh no, you are having two" and I again, nicely, said "No, I'm sure, just one". He proceeded to keep talking.....IDIOT! He said "No, I think two" and at this point I was about to cry and we grabbed our bags and started to walk off and I said "Bye" and he said, as we departed, "Well then that's ONE BIG BABY!" - I wanted to run back in and say "Do you see me....9 months pregnant and here to buy ice cream and pie....do you think I care what YOU think? NO!!" - I should have gone Preggo on him (get it....instead of postal....preggo!) :-) UGH....some people just don't know when to hush!!!

Big Ole' Belly

Well, I attempted to take a few belly shots of myself last week. Here they are - nothing major, just something to remember this time by. I feel SO huge these days! I will try and take a few of Doug and I over the next week. I so wish I could see in there and look at her.....soon enough!